Have you experienced disconnection/distraction/overwhelm
like your Child does?
(by reading “You Experience Autism” on the Mild-Autism home page)
If you haven’t experienced it yet, click on this line
Now that you have more fully experienced being ‘disconnected’
you can see how similar this state is to your youngster’s.
Because everyone gets disconnected, distracted,
doesn’t notice some event taking place,
forgets to reply…
Yes, it happens to your Loved One more than others,
– but with good reason..!
Your Child is disconnected more often, to keep sane!
Talk to me about your Child being distracted / overstimulated
and therefore doesn’t connect with you.
There are ways to involve him or her in the Real World
more often, by harnessing your Child’s motivations
to interact (convince a person with his reasons, not yours!)
.
3 replies to "YOUR Non-Response when you feel disconnected"
I would like to clarify one point about my son’s excitement when he sees something he likes , he can’t hear me. Is this related to autism? If yes can u plz explains how it is related? I see you are saying its over stimulations. Is over stimulation related or not to autism ?
Hi Nessie,
Yes, you are correct, your youngster’s reception of the world
especially visual stimulation (as it seems in his case) is stronger than most.
It tends to occupy all of his attention.
Overstimulation may not be overwhelming,
but it is certainly very powerful influence on his senses.
So that powerful input then produces what is called mild Autism:
being cut off in Own World:
to cope, he retreats into the comfort of a more numbed existence,
including a greater amount of time spent recovering and analysing in his Own World.
I make the point often on the website that we all get overwhelmed
sometimes and spend time recovering in the peace of our Own Worlds,
just not so often as our Loved Ones.
Thus it is a question of degree/amount of Own World time,
not an us/them situation, because we are all similar.
That’s why we should not put such people in a separate category,
but treat them as more extreme versions of ourselves:
Treat your Child as you would treat yourself when you feel overwhelmed.
How do you react if you are confused about something?
You reach out to someone who has some answers.
Or you reach out for their comfort and reassurance.
Others’ input can untangle the confusion you have.
You can do the same for your Child.
The more often in Own World, the more misunderstandings
about the Real World your Child has, so the less ability he.she has of
interacting in it, the more confusion your Child has.
That is why it is important to encourage Real World contact
whenever your young person is receptive enough to venturing into it.
More Real World time also sends feedback to the brain
giving it a better balance.
Let me know if that makes sense to you,
and by all means ask other questions if I can help!
Best Regards from Peter.
Can I offer long-belated apologies Nessie,
– on review of your question I realise I didn’t precisely answer what you were asking:
“…my son’s excitement when he sees something he likes, he can’t hear me…related to autism?”
Well, it’s a common action,
if you or I are really excited about something, it tends to occupy us virtually entirely,
so we become less reachable.
So it’s not exclusively “autistic” behaviour – BUT THEN NOTHING IS !
That’s because, at the risk of being repetitive, since we are all autistic to some degree
we all display this “shut-out” behaviour sometimes, though perhaps not as thoroughly.
It is always only a matter of degree.
Keep that in mind always!
The important implication is if we can change our behavioural emphasis if we wish,
so can your son, because he is essentially not different, not a different species,
not part of a mythical “them” rather than “us”.
Because your boy gets more strongly focused on things than most of us
the intensity of a pleasurable experience is probably more too.
So it’s harder to reach him than you might be in the same circumstances.
I recall making a similar comment in my “About me” section relating to Ben
and his love of ice-cream:
https://mild-autism.com/about-me/5/
I interpreted that strong-focus as “being too deep in Own World”
though I’d change that on reflection to
“being very deep in excitement” because it implies he can be more accessible
than if completely tied up ‘in Own World’. A slightly different emphasis.
Firstly though, you can more fully rejoice now, at the realisation of how much fun
your child is having, more than you might have otherwise realised.
But then secondly the question “how do I help him share his fun with the others
rather than retain his current self-focus”
Because I think this is what you are fundamentally asking.
This is actually a more basic and important question than may be thought of at first glance.
How to sell him on the idea that in the end “it is more fun, to share fun”,
than “absorb the fun you are having exclusively, yourself”.
It is a difference that has to be experienced to compare the two,
and that can only be achieved by learning to more easily and frequently enter the “Real World”,
meaning the common environment where we all interact,
to do that comparing, and to reach your own personal conclusion.
Real World Training is designed to inspire your Child to want to reach out into the Real World more often, via playing enjoyable interactive Games, rather than being instructed to do something, and to do so only when your Child is ready to interact. The R.W. Training teaches those techniques.
So, what is that “advantage of sharing fun” anyway, over isolated self-fun?
Firstly, shared fun is an instinctive pleasure, because humans are communal interactive animals – we are genetically designed to gain pleasure by observing others also participating in our pleasure. This leads to co-operative behaviours, a mainstay of human survival and prosperity.
Secondly when others share pleasure with you, this can amplify your own pleasure, with others finding or jointly creating more content to add to the experience, swapping ideas and happiness back and forth, and reminiscing/reviving the pleasurable experience in a more powerful way than you can do just by yourself.
And since gaining maximum pleasure from life is basically everyone’s aim, this Real World Training will help your Child claim their rightful share, those extra fun times that can become available to them.